Chick Suing The Lottery Because Winning A Million ‘Ruined Her Life’

sundaypeople-prod-jane-park

Mirror UK– Britain’s youngest EuroMillions winner says her ­stupendous windfall has ­ruined her life.

And Jane Park, who was only 17 when she scooped £1million with her first-ever ticket, is considering legal action against lottery bosses for negligence.

Astonishingly, she claims someone her age should not have been allowed to win.

In a breath-taking whinge about her jackpot, Jane, now 21, says the money has made her life ten times worse.

Okay, okay, before I jump at young Jane Park’s throat on this one with an easy “I wouldn’t bitch and complain if I won a million dollars!” take, let me just provide some advice for Jane on what we can do to make her life better as a millionaire:

 

The attractive blonde told the Sunday People she is…

  • SICK of shopping for designer goodies
  • STRUGGLING to find a genuine boyfriend who isn’t after her money
  • MISSING her Benidorm holidays because trips to upmarket resorts are too snooty
  • BURDENED with the “stress” of being a millionairess

“Sick of shopping designer goodies” is such an easy solution. Could you imagine having a million dollars, shit even just a grand, and go to TOWN at a discount store like a Macy’s Backstage or Marshalls? Bedazzled t-shirts and knock off NFL jerseys for days my friend. So switch it up a lil Jane, Michael Kors isn’t going anywhere but you know what is? Those discount kitten t-shirts that Mrs. Parker has been eyeing ever since she walked into Marshalls.

“Finding a genuine boyfriend who isn’t just after your money” could be all about misreads. Maybe some of these guys are just confused to want they’re looking for or have a hard time expressing their feelings, that’s why they seem so distant from you.

Or just in it for the fun bags on the chest. These are the questions to ask Jane, not just about whether there in it for the money or not:

jane-park-4

“Missing her Benidorm trips” one quick Google search and I can tell you Benidorm just looks like one big fucking zoo like a gross muggy Jersey shore day in the middle of July:

benidorm-4

HARD pass Jane. You aren’t missing anything there anyways.

“Burned of the stress of being a millionairess” is where I provide my final piece of free advice Jane. Whatever of the million you have left, blow it all in one day. Just spend an entire day doing everything you could possibly think of. Maybe a private jet to Vegas, best tower suite in the Wynn, putting $100 grand down on your lucky number in roulette, pigging the fuck out at P.F. Chang’s, getting a shit ton of blow and male strippers, the whole nine yards. Then it’s back to living average lives just like the rest of us and no more stress of having a million dollars.

This advice is a freebie Jane, just remember me when you take your Vegas bender trip.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s