The Vanilla Unicorn

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I’m not a strip club guy. Tonight marked the 3rd time ive ever been to a strip club and man was it very ungood. For anyone familiar with the North Shore the Golden Banana is a land mark, its not a gay club just a very odd branding choice for a regular club. Anyway the said club rolled out their B squad on a friday night, a squad full of 38 year olds with jelly rolls and deflated , milked tiddies. The point is what am I supposed to do when I get there. Im supposd to act like this interaction with a strippers gonna go somewhere? Im a fat idiot in a steady relationship (congrats me on the sex). Strippers are gods way of making lonely sad guys feel good about themselves, but me, since im in a relationship and respect women I treat these strippers like the objects they are. Atleast their fathers knew when to leave. I have no time for $9 beers and coming from a guy who’s 0-10-1 in his last 11 NCAAB bets, i have alot better ways to blow my money.

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